I am deeply sorry to hear of Fred’s passing. I hope you all, especially Derick and Travis, receive comfort and joy while reminiscing anew memories of your father. Memories rich and complex that reside in those who were closest to him. Although I am not in that intimate circle, I thought you might enjoy hearing about Fred from my perspective.
Fred was my favorite uncle. When I was a little girl, I named most of my stuffed animals, Fred. This is not insignificant. I had a lot of stuffed animals. Every morning, I placed, propped and arranged all over my bed a coordinated, stuffed animal scene of mostly Fred’s. Today, due to the demands of various “tossers” throughout my life who wouldn’t let me keep everything (think Nana’s basement), I only have two: A flattened, sleeping, brown puppy dog with a small bell in its ear and most of its fur worn away, and a gold and black stuffed fish with lips – both lovingly named Fred.
Fred was the coolest! Quiet, cool and calm upon first greeting, he stepped out sporting longer chestnut brown hair, a beastly beard and mustache, and cool, reflective shades of the day. He topped it all off with a stunningly beautiful young woman with long blonde hair – your mother, Irma. He and Irma also had one of the coolest and best dogs ever, Annie, and then also little Brewster who was blind and smartly walked in circles to find his way. I thought it was terrific and felt closer to both of them knowing they shared my love of animals. He was also an amazing downhill skier, I know, because he took me skiing once and I hung in just so I could say, “I survived!” However, watching him work the hill was quiet, smooth, effortless rhythm and me, well, it is known I can’t sing.
Fred had many talents. I can remember going into his room at the bottom of the stairs at Nana’s house and peering around the corner to see if he was in there. I would begin to peek around the door and hear a low, drawn out, “Yeeeees?” He would just look at me with that slow, expectant smile, to which I would shyly say, “Hi”, or “What are you doing?” or when all the cousins were there – massive giggling/squealing with delight and then running! He would just smile and wait to hear what I or we said and/or find out what we were doing. He was always patient with us even when we made a repeated, loud ruckus sliding down the steep carpeted stairs on our bums just outside his bedroom wall. The biggest reaction we ever got, was him getting up and coming to the doorway to ask, “Is everyone ok?” On the occasions I visited with him in his room, I would marvel at his coin collections which he kept in all kinds of bottles. It looked so artistically,
Fred helped Nana care for his father, Papa. I visited Nana and Papa on my own the summer before Papa died, staying for almost a month. During this time, I was able to see how much Nana greatly relied upon your dad’s help with moving Papa in the morning. This was a huge gift in service and time for many years from your father not just in his own personal time, but also the dedicated time away from his own growing, young family. The extent of his wonderful gift of labor and time was often not fully acknowledged by those who knew of his sacrifice, but Nana and Papa both knew and were extremely grateful. Fred would show up, help Nana with Papa and any other chores she might need, sometimes having time for a cup of coffee, and other times he had to return again later that day to help with something else for Nana. The summer I was there, he always took a moment to chat with me briefly. I never felt like he was talking down to me as a kid. Fred simply conversed and expressed genuine interest and sincerity.
Fred cared for Nana. This was a tough time. When we visited Nana, we crowded an already full house which, of course, we loved. I know Nana felt comforted with Fred being there and absolutely loved having Derick and Travis. I know her two young grandsons made her feel needed and gave her days purpose. I saw how much Nana just loved listening to their descriptions of friends, activities and school, adoring all their youth and vigor. Fred’s presence was helpful and reassuring, and Derick and Travis with their young friends playing in the house, made Nana happy and fulfilled. I remember when Derick went to prom and brought his date over to meet Nana. She was over the moon with meeting the beautiful and delightful young girl. Derick, of course, was handsome decked out in his tux, and with the couple holding hands, Nana thought she had just greeted a prince and princess. Fred was beaming with pride.
Holly Schwab